(OPENING THEME PLAYING)
(SIREN WAILING)
CYBORG: You don't think I know
that she's a robot?
I know she's a robot.
But if she's really
part of the family,
why do they make her sleep
in a cupboard?
I mean,
she can have a real bed.
Don't they realize
she's a small wonder?
Why does this show
always get you so worked up?
Yeah, it's supposed to be
a comedy, dude.
-(BELL CHIMES)
-(GASPS)
(SQUAWKING)
Hocus-pocus.
Oh, Mumbo!
Titans, woah!
(CHUCKLING) Magic show.
-Oh, goody!
-(CRASHING)
The Teen Titans.
You'll never be able
to stop...
Do a trick! Do a trick!
Ooh, yes. We would like
to see the magic.
Oh...
Okay.
Ta-da.
(GASPING) Flowers!
They just came out of nowhere.
(GASPS)
(SNIFFING)
This isn't a magic show.
(ALL SHUSHING)
Can I get a dollar
from the crowd?
-CYBORG: Oh, I got one!
-ROBIN: No. Take mine!
Take mine!
BEAST BOY: I've got 20, yo.
You're not supposed to be
giving the thief money.
(ALL SHUSHING)
Amazing!
How in the world
does he do it?
He is blowing my mind!
Ooh! (GUSHING)
Now for my final trick,
watch me disappear.
Into prison
for 10 to 20 years.
-Ah, come on!
-Way to go!
You totally ruined the show!
Why must you hate the magic?
(RAVEN GRUNTING)
(SEAGULLS SHRIEKING)
(MEDITATIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
-(CRASHING)
-(STARFIRE SCREAMING)
CYBORG: Oh, my
goodness gracious!
What are we gonna do?
What? What happened?
Robin somehow
removed the thumb.
Presto chango!
Oh, it's back on.
It's all good, people.
Oh, no! It's gone again!
(SCREAMING)
What is going on?
Magic! That's what.
Seeing that creepy little
blue guy work miracles
has inspired me
to do the same.
Hey, Beast Boy,
whoop, got your nose.
Wow, magic.
(SCREAMING)
Someone call a doctor.
Put it back.
I beg of you.
You guys think
that's impressive?
Azarath Metrion Zinthos.
(BOWLING PINS CLATTERING)
BEAST BOY: Super lame.
I saw how she did that.
She just used a spell.
(SARCASTICALLY)
Yeah, great trick.
(ALL BOOING)
-Say, Beast Boy...
-What?
You appear to have
something lodged
in your general ear area.
Uh, that's just
my waxy buildup.
Not that.
There's something
behind your ear.
Huh, what's that doing
in there?
He pulled a coin
from behind Beast Boy's ear.
Do you keep the coins
behind your ear, Beast Boy?
No, dude, no.
Never in my life.
Magic!
(APPLAUDING)
Boo!
Why do you have to be
such a heckler, Rave?
I'm not!
It's just that Robin's magic
is terrible.
-No, you hate everything.
-No, I don't.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
RAVEN: Hate it.
(MEOWING)
Hate it.
Okay, so I can be negative.
But, Robin's dealing
with forces more powerful
than he understands.
His terrible tricks
are bound to anger
the Magic God.
Behold!
The Magic God is responsible
for keeping the forces
of magic in balance,
even terrible magic
like Robin's.
If you don't treat the treat
the powers of magic
with respect,
you'll be summoned
by the Magic God
to face his judgment,
and be eternally...
Who's ready for more magic?
ALL: We are!
Titans, I'm about to perform
magic's most dangerous trick,
the water torture chamber.
I wouldn't try this
if I were you.
I know what I'm doing, Raven.
I saw it on the Internet.
Beast Boy, could you help
lower me into the water?
(WATER BUBBLING)
-This is just stupid.
-(ALL SHUSHING)
Maybe we should get him
out of there.
He's fine, Rave,
It's called building drama.
(GASPING)
(COUGHING)
(WEAKLY) Ta-da.
Glorious water trick.
Guys! That beat
the missing thumb.
The missing thumb.
What is wrong with you people?
He died.
That's what made it
such a great trick.
Yes,
anybody can survive a trick.
Robin, you can't play
around with this stuff.
Magic is not a game!
Magic!
Keep it up,
and you'll be summoned
by the Magic God.
And believe me,
you don't wanna deal with him.
You don't get it, Raven.
I am a Magic God.
(EXCLAIMS)
Hummus. Hate it.
Schnitzel. Hate it.
Chicken Marsala. Hate it.
-What?
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
What's wrong with my magic,
today?
ROBIN: Hey, uh, Rave,
you busy?
Uh, so... (CLEARS THROAT)
I was, uh, doing some magic...
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
And then this happened.
(ROARING)
(GROWLING)
(GRUNTS)
(THUDDING)
No wonder my magic's off.
You finally upset
the Magic God,
and now,
all magic is out of balance.
Why didn't you listen to me?
I thought
you were just being negative.
Whoa! What's...
What's going on?
(BOTH SCREAMING)
MAGIC GOD:
Stand before the Magic God.
You have displeased me.
Unless you can impress me
with some magic,
you will be banished
to the mines forever!
Forgive him, great Magic God.
-Robin knows not
about his misuse of magic.
-(THUNDERBOLT)
Show me a trick,
or to the mines, you two.
Let me handle this.
Azarath Metrion Zinthos.
(SNARLING)
(DOGS BARKING)
Hate it.
To the mines, you two.
You can't send Robin
to the mines.
He won't last a day
down there.
It's not Robin I'm sending
to the mines, you silly fool.
You have upset the Magic God
by pooh-poohing
all of his fine magic tricks.
-Me?
-Yes!
The Magic God hates hecklers.
I know, total downer.
Now, did you say
you want to see some magic?
Is this your card?
(GASPS) That was my card.
Magic!
Where did the ball go?
Whoo!
Magic!
A coin? Behind my ear?
How absurd and marvelous!
Bravo! Bravo!
You are incredible, Robin.
But she is still to be
banished to the mines forever!
Please, great Magic God,
give Raven one more chance.
I promise
she will not disappoint.
(SIGHS)
(SARCASTICALLY)
Look, my thumb is missing.
Delightful! Amazing!
You have pleased me.
You both may go.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
Sorry, Robin.
Your magic may be terrible,
but I can't hate things
just because they're terrible.
From now on I'm gonna work on
being more positive.
That's it?
You're not gonna say anything?
(CHOKING)
I was wondering
where that went.
How many of the pongs
does he have in there?
Gajillions. Who knows?
Listen up.
I'm the leader of the Titans,
and I say the commands.
That's right, bro, you are.
And we shall listen to you.
Booyah!
Beast Boy, make me a sandwich,
now!
Sir, yes, sir, leader sir.
Cyborg, foot massage, pronto.
Anything you want,
Mr. Leader Guy. Booyah!
Raven, organize the dvds.
How I love doing your bidding,
O' glorious leader of ours.
Here you go, boss.
Not good enough.
Starfire, come here to me.
(GASPING) Oh, Robin.
-(WATCH BEEPING)
-Uh, puppet time
will have to wait.
It's fitness time.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay, Titans.
Day one of our new
fitness regimen.
Time for a run.
Come on. Titans, go!
Can't you see we're relaxing?
Tough. (PANTING)
I'm your leader,
and I say we go for a run.
You're our leader on missions,
not around the house.
Hey, this is a command.
And this is the best part.
Shh, bro.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
Tell me a joke, Beatbox.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
That's redonkulous.
(LAUGHING)
-BEAST BOY: Oh, so good.
-CYBORG: Oh!
(GRUNTING)
-I will listen to you, Robin.
-Phew!
After I am finished
reading the magazine.
You guys
never listen to me anymore!
(GRUNTING)
Uh-oh. He's getting
the crazy eyes again.
(BARKING)
Here it comes.
(WHISTLING)
He's gonna blow.
Strange,
he did not do the flip out.
(PANTING)
Calm down. Calm down.
Keep it together, Robin.
Go to your happy place.
I am the leader of the Titans.
All right, Titans,
we are gonna work those
problem areas today.
Are you ready?
-Yeah.
-Booyah!
Yeah, good, yeah.
In four, three, two, one,
let's go.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
And squeeze, and squeeze,
and squeeze, and squeeze.
Lean into it. Lean into it.
Shake it out. Shake it out.
Cyborg, work those glutes.
Let me hear
some metal clanging.
-Booyah!
-(CLANGING)
Beast Boy,
keep that hand on the mat.
I'm watching you.
I got eyes on, Beast Boy.
Yes, sir, Robin sir.
Whatever you say, dude.
Ah! Feeling so much better.
Dude, that is weird.
(GASPING)
Are those puppets?
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY) Puppets?
What? No.
Whoa! Is that me?
I'm super handsome.
Where did you get the little
wooden people, Robin?
(GASPING)
They're here to help you deal
with stress, aren't they?
Uh... Well...
Super weird!
It is the eyes
of the crazy again.
Uh-oh, take it back, Cyborg,
take it back!
I can't! What would
rest of you call that?
That is weird!
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GRUNTING)
It's all good, dude.
We don't think
you're weird at all.
Now, who's a good boy?
Who's a good boy?
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
I am.
Uh, yeah. It's weird.
Oh, I would like to try
the weirdness.
-(CRASHING)
-(SCREAMING)
Yeah, me, too.
(GASPING LOUDLY)
What are you doing?
It's puppet time!
No!
Keep your hands
off my puppets.
RAVEN: What's up
with these puppets.
CYBORG:
They can't do anything.
STARFIRE: Mine cannot even
perambulate.
Oh, yes, they can.
Puppets can do everything.
They are the ultimate form
of artistic expression.
-You're just doing it wrong.
-(SLAPPING)
(CLEARS THROAT)
See, you just move one leg,
then the other like this.
Oh, man, what?
Oh, I cannot do this.
Mine is broken.
No, like this.
Oh, I am getting
the understanding.
(CHUCKLING) Look at me go.
(VOCALIZING)
I'm poppin' it,
I'm poppin' it.
Easy peasy.
Ahhh! No! If you would just
listen to my orders
you'd learn
how to do it right.
Uh, we're not your puppets,
Robin.
You can't just make us do
what you want.
Yeah. There ain't no strings
on us, dude.
-(DRILLING)
-(HAMMERING)
Uh, what're you guys doing?
I didn't authorize any...
Relax, dude.
We're just putting in
a new door.
But it doesn't go anywhere.
I know. That's the joke.
(SLAMS) As the building's
Safety Marshall
I order you to...
(CLEARS THROAT)
It could compromise
the structural integrity of...
I need my puppets!
(SCREAMING)
(CLATTERING)
(PANTING) Where are they?
Where's the stage?
We used it, bro.
Yeah.
I think we left it outside.
Really?
I did not just fall for that!
Oh, yes, you did.
(ALL LAUGHING)
-(SCREAMING)
-(THUDDING)
Ahhh! They never listen to me.
I wish they were
more like my puppets.
(ECHOING)
Puppets. Puppets. Puppets.
Did I hear a puppet wish?
Whoa! A talking sock.
That's weird.
I am no ordinary talking sock.
I am the all-powerful
Puppet Wizard.
-(THUNDERBOLTS)
-Master of the ancient
puppet arts.
And I see that
you're having control issues
with your team.
Yeah, they just don't
listen to me anymore.
I'm their leader, and I know
what's best for them.
But, no. They wanna have
rules of their own
or whatever.
(SIGHS)
It's really frustrating.
Well, I can make it
so your Titan friends
can be as easily manipulated
as your puppets.
And all for the low, low price
of your mortal soul.
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Just sign here.
You've got a deal, sock.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
RAVEN: We're puppets.
ROBIN: That's right.
STARFIRE: What have you done,
Robin?
Now that you're all puppets,
you'll have to listen to...
Whoa! (CHUCKLES)
I look weird as a puppet.
Watch me perambulate, yo.
(CHUCKLING) Ooh.
Wonder if I can still
turn into stuff.
-(SNORTING)
-(SQUAWKING)
-(SQUEAKING)
-Yup.
Okay, guys,
it's time to go for a run.
RAVEN: Nice view.
(MOVING TRAFFIC)
Come on!
You're puppets.
You're supposed to do
as I say.
Uh, yeah.
But you're a puppet, too.
Oh, right.
I guess I didn't think
this through too well.
(CHUCKLES)
Clearly, this was a bad idea.
So, uh, where's the bathroom?
I've really gotta go.
Um, it's just a puppet stage.
It doesn't have a bathroom.
Does the puppet stage
have a kitchen?
-I'm so hungry, bro.
-Sorry.
Hey, this TV doesn't work.
These pages are all blank.
What do you people
want from me?
They're just props!
We wanna be people again.
You must change us back!
I can't.
I sold all of our souls
to the Puppet Wizard.
The Puppet Wizard!
The Puppet Wizard?
Ugh, not the Puppet Wizard.
Who's the Puppet Wizard?
Ugh!
"Since time immemorial,
"the Puppet Wizard
has ruled over a distant
mystical land
"where he traps
unlucky souls in the bodies
of wooden puppets.
"The only way
to reclaim one's soul
is to travel to his kingdom
"and defeat him in battle
before sunset.
"If we fail,
we'll be lifeless marionettes
"doomed to do
the Puppet Wizard's
bidding...forever."
Then we know
what we have to do.
Titans, go!
Does this thing even work?
-Here I got it.
-(BELL DINGS)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(ROARING)
(PANTING)
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
(ROARING)
Behold the Puppet Wizard.
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
Come to reclaim your souls,
I see.
(LAUGHING)
With your puny puppet bodies
you'll never defeat me
in battle.
We'll see about that.
Puppet attack!
-(GRUNTS)
-(GROANING)
Pencil whack!
(ROARING)
Heat energy,
the wizard of puppets.
(GROANING)
(GROANING) Ouch!
Yes! We did it.
We got our souls back.
(SIGHS) I miss my people self.
So, you have anything
to say for yourself, Robin?
This was all my fault.
It's just hard to be a leader
if nobody listens to you.
I'm sorry, guys.
Nah, you were right all along.
Booyah!
It was all our fault.
You're our leader,
and we should always
listen to you, bro.
Starfire, what about you?
Robin, come here to me.
Dude's got issues.
-(KISSING) Ah!
-Yeah.